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 PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:40 pm Post subject:  What are your most unimpressive achievements?
 
Vault Survivor

Joined: Feb 22, 2011
Posts: 1041
In the spirit of Jojobobo's recent threads, here's one in a similar vein from me. What things have you achieved which are singularly unimpressive, yet worth boasting about to a bunch of strangers on the internet? Example:

I consider myself to be a frequent urinator. Not overly so - I don't have a problem in that area, but I would typically relieve myself five times per day. And yet, yesterday, I managed to go from 8:40am to 7:05pm without a single tinkle. That's over ten hours - probably a personal best. Normally I would expect to go twice in that time. The strange thing is that I didn't drink any less than usual - I can only explain it as being slighty dehydrated from the previous day, but even then, not by very much.

Ten hours without a wee, without really trying. That's my unimpressive achievement.


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 PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:01 pm Post subject: 
 
The Living One
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I received a Junior Sports Leadership Award at school, qualifying me to lead a small group of five to eight year olds in activities barely related to sports - such as star jumps and the like. I consider that a pretty unimpressive achievement, yet to date I've put it on every application I've made as evidence that I have superb leadership skills. Hopefully one day I'll be put in a life or death situation where leading a group of 5 to 8 year olds in sport activities is the only way to save myself, but til that day the award will always be highly unimpressive.

Also I must say I like how you record the times of your urination Smuel.

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 PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:56 pm Post subject: 
 
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I don't record the times, I'm just capable of remembering them in this instance, mainly because I always get up at the same time on weekdays, so can estima... look, you aren't really interested in this, are you.

Another completely unimpressive achievement was a few years ago, when I was eating an apple, and I managed to... well, this will take some explaining. When I eat an apple I cut it into quarters from the bottom up to the stem, then I cut a thin slice from the bottom of each piece towards the centre, cut a wedge out of the centre, and then another thin slice up towards the stem, so that I'm left with four edible cored quarters of apple, and four quarter-cores, which I throw away.

So, one time, I managed to cut the stem into quarters too, all the way up to the knobbly bit at the end, which I left intact. And I then cut the cores from the apple while leaving them attached together. A most unimpressive achievement, I think you'll agree. Though it's actually more difficult than it sounds, and in fact I aim to do this every time I eat an apple, but invariably the stem breaks apart long before I'm done with the final quarter. Or else I miss the stem with my first cut and it's entirely on one of the subsequent quarter-cores.


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 PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 8:04 pm Post subject: 
 
The Living One
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Smuel wrote:
I don't record the times, I'm just capable of remembering them in this instance, mainly because I always get up at the same time on weekdays, so can estima... look, you aren't really interested in this, are you.

Yeah, yeah; I'm sure that's what everyone who meticulously records the time at which they pee says. I can see it now: "9:45pm, pee slightly tinged red in colour. Not too much, but not too little; a satisfying urination. Note to self: lay off the pickled beetroot."

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 PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:38 pm Post subject: 
 
Unfinisher Extraordinaire
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I once posted in a thread on the internet.

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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 12:43 am Post subject: 
 
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One time, while watching "The Room" at the local indie theatre, I made a completely original and hilarious joke. When Tommy says "Wow, great job, Lisa, you invited all my friends!" I yelled "Not Peter!" and everybody lol'd.

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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:36 am Post subject: 
 
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Starting a "Rudy!" chant during the midnight viewing of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King at the end when Sam says "I cant carry this burden for you Mr. Frodo. But I can carry you!"

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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:07 pm Post subject: 
 
Vault Survivor

Joined: Feb 22, 2011
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I've thought of another one. I know, I'm just full of unimpressiveness.

A few months ago, in a pub quiz, there was a picture round, with faces of famous people who we were supposed to put names to. One of them was labelled as a "TV Star" and she was a young woman who nobody in my team recognised, including me. However, something about the fake tan and dark hair suggested to me that it was a Kardashian. Now, I don't really know much about the Kardashians, but I can recognize Kim*, and I was pretty sure it wasn't Khloe. So that left... who? I didn't know, but someone at the table said that there was another one called Kourtney. So I decided that it must be Kourtney Kardashian, and wrote it down as the answer.

It was the correct answer.

Of course, ever since then the rest of my so-called friends on the team have unfairly mocked me for being obsessed with the Kardashians. But hey - that's what friends are for.

* Though I can't tell the difference between Kim Kardashian and Nicole Scherzinger. Then again - who can? Those two are even worse than Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel in terms of similarity.


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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 2:38 am Post subject: 
 
Nemesis of the Ancients
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I've read through every active thread in this forum, in it's entirely, while sober.

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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:36 am Post subject: 
 
Reptilus Rex
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DarkFool wrote:
I've read through every active thread in this forum, in it's entirely, while sober.

Are you really sober? Or are you referring to some point in the distant past?
Ah, I have one;
I've been drug free for 8 months. You might say that's impressive, but it really isn't when you consider I'm broke and actually weighed my priorities.

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Smuel wrote:
I expect it's something to do with cheap rolex watches enlarging his penis while he makes $400,000 an hour working from home.


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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:03 am Post subject: 
 
Resurrected Modding God

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有一次我给个小姐口了 你说我是不是傻逼 不过她性感一逼 我就忍不住了

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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:08 am Post subject: 
 
Reptilus Rex
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Alright, so google translate sucks for Chinese. I'm guessing you went down on a woman.

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Smuel wrote:
I expect it's something to do with cheap rolex watches enlarging his penis while he makes $400,000 an hour working from home.


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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:38 pm Post subject: 
 
Vault Survivor

Joined: Feb 22, 2011
Posts: 1041
I'm guessing he went down on what he initially thought was a woman, and is now questioning his sexuality.


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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:51 pm Post subject: 
 
The Living One
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I'm guessing HWLFP has hacked Drog's account, given the other thread - though I might be wrong and maybe Drog really did just want boast about his escapades with a transgender person.

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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:07 pm Post subject: 
 
Mutant Patron of Deviation
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This is pretty normal Drog behaviour, actually. It's his way of telling us he's alive and well.

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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:52 pm Post subject: 
 
Unfinisher Extraordinaire
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Muro wrote:
This is pretty normal Drog behaviour, actually. It's his way of telling us he's alive and well.


No, normal would be semi-random hatred and verbal abuse directed toward someone who either is too ignorant to realize their mistake or too stupid to change anyway.

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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:58 pm Post subject: 
 
Reptilus Rex
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This is almost like he found some E and well, the rest is history.

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Smuel wrote:
I expect it's something to do with cheap rolex watches enlarging his penis while he makes $400,000 an hour working from home.


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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:09 pm Post subject: 
 
Mutant Patron of Deviation
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Philes wrote:
No, normal would be semi-random hatred and verbal abuse directed toward someone who either is too ignorant to realize their mistake or too stupid to change anyway.

When it comes to this place, yes, but there's also the RPG Codex.

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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:43 pm Post subject: 
 
Unfinisher Extraordinaire
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I remember discovering the RPG Codex for the first time ever when I followed a link in DU's sig on these forums around late 2006. It seemed like a caustic place full of elitist circle jerking. I may have been wrong but I never really spent much time there after that other than the random link to a thread here and there.

So I have no idea what his modus operandi is there.

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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:53 pm Post subject: 
 
Reptilus Rex
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Philes wrote:
I remember discovering the RPG Codex for the first time ever when I followed a link in DU's sig on these forums around late 2006. It seemed like a caustic place full of elitist circle jerking. I may have been wrong but I never really spent much time there after that other than the random link to a thread here and there.

So I have no idea what his modus operandi is there.

That's what I consider this place, actually. Perhaps if I actually looked at the RPG codex, I'd change my mind.

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Smuel wrote:
I expect it's something to do with cheap rolex watches enlarging his penis while he makes $400,000 an hour working from home.


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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:31 pm Post subject: 
 
Vault Survivor

Joined: Feb 22, 2011
Posts: 1041
I think you'd all like it over at RPG Codex.

Because I don't post there.


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 PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 12:17 am Post subject:  Re: What are your most unimpressive achievements?
 
Good Sir Knight
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Smuel wrote:
Ten hours without a wee, without really trying. That's my unimpressive achievement.
I once went 14 or 16 hours (I can't remember). I was in my teens and it was one of my first ski trips. I was busy skiing and getting out of my bibs must have seemed like too much of a chore to bother with urinating. Perhaps I sweated enough moisture for it not to matter.

As a small child, I'd go days without taking a deuce. I was one of those kids who wouldn't duke anyplace but at my household so during summer camp, I'd stretch that out to a week. I don't chalk this one up as an achievement, but more of an obsessive tendency that I've outgrown.

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 PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:29 am Post subject: 
 
Mutant Patron of Deviation
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TDC wrote:
I was one of those kids who wouldn't duke anyplace but at my household

Same here. My proud personal record was two shitless weeks during summer camp. My insides hurt and I could hardly take a pee due to the internal pressure, muscle tension and whatnot, but my organism was stuck in no shit mode and met my desire to take a shit with not giving a shit.

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 PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 2:27 am Post subject: 
 
Nemesis of the Ancients
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Philes wrote:
So I have no idea what his modus operandi is there.
Basically, he got accused of taking some Russian mods, converting them to English, and calling it his work. I believe in the end it was deteremined to be completely off-base, but he went apeshit over it, swore he'd never mod Arcanum again... and promptly showed up here.

That, actually, is how he wound up being a member of this forum. xD

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Racist, sexist, pessimist, chauvinist, misogynist... heck, I'm just ist.

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And I say you sound like an idiot, not because you disagree, but because your arguments are stupid.


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 PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:31 am Post subject: 
 
Mutant Patron of Deviation
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Those interested can check here for Drog's explanation of what DF mentioned. There was some delicious Drog vs Russians and Drog vs Terra Arcanum drama, too. Start here for your daily dose of Drog rage.

Anyhow, Drog remained active on the Codex after the whole situation, albeit mostly as a troll alt spawner it would seem.

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