HoL Gate II

Xiao_Caity · Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 10:09 am Post subject: HoL Gate II

I'll repost the shit that got all this started. Feel free to chuck characters into the ring. It's very simple.

Go do the MtG test in my sig, if you haven't already. Go, do it now.

Done? Good. Now, post your colour and your preferred class here, and let me to the rest. Or even better, post some scenes of your own! There's a LOT of plot to get through, and frankly I need someone to either cover BGI or inspire me.

Arthgon has the honour of being our resident Bhaalspawn. Poor sod.

~ Xiao, the resident Xzar

What Started It All...With Embellishment
Some random hellhole in the middle of the Underdark. The party is standing hidden behind several massive stalag-thingas and watching a drow patrol go past. Until...
Zanza (LG Paladin): For JUSTICE! *brandishes sword*
Arthgon (NE Assassin): One stab in the back, that's all I ask...
Yuki (N Druid): No, we still need him. Meatshield, remember?
Arthgon: As soon as we find a new meatshield, he's going to suddenly appear in some Kobold's cookpot...
Vorak (LE or NE Fighter/Necromancer): He doesn't need to be breathing to be a meatshield.
Puppy (N Werewolf): Can I have his femur?
Xiao (CN Evoker): Why hello there Mr. Shop of the Books! What do you... have... AIYA! DIE FOUL SPARKLEPIRE! *incinerates drow* YOU! You're one of SMeyer's mindless pawns! DIE! *incinerates some poor innocent bat*

There Will Be No Romance Here
A random forest somewhere. Yuki sits on a fallen tree. Arthgon approaches.
Arthgon: So, uh, Yuki...
Yuki: Creeping Doom. Boxer shorts.
Arthgon: *wince* Never mind...

So This Bhaalspawn Walks Into A Bard...
Some insane mage's hidey-hole. There's a certain odeur de sewer about the place. The party has just slaughtered said insane mage and freed a Tiefling Bard. He's a very pretty man.
Arthgon: *interrupting* Yeah, yeah, Sparrow, flying, I dig. Can we just get out of here now?
Xiao: *wide-eyed* Sooooo pretty... *pounces Haer'Dalis from behind, and ends up hanging from his shoulders and giggling madly. She's so tiny he's not even unbalanced* You're gonna be my snuggle-kitten!
Puppy: Don't mind me, I'm just going to dig a new hole out back of the Copper Coronet.
Zanza: What for?
Puppy: *exasperated* ...Paladins.
Arthgon: Can we at least wait until Raelis pays us?
Puppy: ...Fine. But I get his liver.
Haer'Dalis: I think I'd be safer in prison.

Seriously. No Romance Here
A walkway at the top of Waukeen's Promenade. Xiao's watching the people go by with a less demented than usual expression on her face. Arthgon appears just as she casts a spell.
Arthgon: So, Xiao, I was wondering...
Xiao: SHHH! Wait wait wait wait!
Arthgon: Huh?
Xiao: 3... 2... 1... *some unfortunate passer-by explodes into flame* Eragon goes BOOM!
Arthgon: You know what, it's not important. *flees*

Necromancy Versus Evocation
The bottom of the secondary thieves guild in the Docks district. The party, joined by Vorak in a fetching blood-red robe, has just put down the former leader and are happily looting the bodies. Well, some of them are anyways.
Vorak: Explosions are all well and good, foolish girl, but nothing holds a candle to the power to leech a man's soul out through his mouth.
Xiao: But I can set people on fire!
Vorak: I can bring them back from the dead when you're done and make them into my slaves.
Xiao: >_< I can kill them again!

The Danger Of Third-Party Romances
A ruined temple somewhere in the middle of 'Deliverance' nowhere. The party is set up around a fire. Vorak is sitting slightly apart from the rest, sharpening his sword methodically. Arthgon wanders over.
Arthgon: Um, Vorak, I...
Vorak: No.
Arthgon: *blinks and shakes his head a bit* Oh god! What was I doing?!?!
Disembodied Voice: *giggles*
Arthgon: Oh, fuck you! You promised me no mods!
Disembodied Voice: I'm trying to get you laid!
Arthgon: *gags*
Vorak: *raises a hand and casts a spell*
Disembodied Voice: *hurk*
Arthgon: Did you just kill the...?
Vorak: Yup.
Arthgon: That's hardcore!

All Tooled Up And No Wrongs To Avenge
The Copper Coronet, late evening. Puppy wanders back in, splattered with dirt and mud and looking very pleased with himself. He sits himself down at the same table as Yuki and orders an ale. Zanza approaches.
Zanza: Master Puppy...
Puppy: *snigger*
Zanza: *gamely pushing on* I cannot help but notice that you spend an inordinate amount of time digging holes behind this inn.
Puppy: Well...
Zanza: And that every time you dig a hole, someone disappears.
Puppy: Yeah, but...
Yuki: He's a werewolf, Zanza. It's in his nature to dig holes.
Zanza: But that does...
Yuki: And where did you hear this nonsense about people disappearing? From these greasy barflies?
Zanza: *sheepish* Yes mi'lady.
Yuki: You'd believe the words of some drunken louts over the word of your loyal travelling companions?
Zanza: *ashamed* No, I would not. Sir Puppy, I apologise profusely. I will go and repent my sins. *leaves*
Puppy: Yuki, you're awesome.
Yuki: Damn straight.
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

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Yuki · Death Claw Joined: 28 Feb 2009 Posts: 763

I'll keep my druid, she seems cool.
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papa_dog_1999 · Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 12:34 pm Post subject:

Puppy is pleased.

Edit: Vorak nuking 'he who installs mods' was a win.
_________________
"There comes a time when you look into the mirror, and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be.
Then you accept it, or you kill yourself.
Or you stop looking into mirrors."
--Londo Mollari

Xiao_Caity · Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 1:15 pm Post subject:

*cackles*

Right, Yuki druid, Puppy werewolf, Xiao insane evoker... Come on people, come and play with me! *gets all creepy* Forever and ever and ever...

Whoa. That was weird.

Is it wrong of me to let evoker-me tackle any remotely attractive male from the game?
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

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rroyo · Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 1:24 pm Post subject:

rRoyo: Combination City-Dwarf tinkerer and absent-minded professor.
50/50 chance of his gadgets working.

I don't want to take the Magic test again but I scored white.
_________________
If you can't go through a problem, go over it, under it, or around it.

Xiao_Caity · Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 1:26 pm Post subject:

Right. White, so relatively sane and good... dwarf... um, the closest BG II has to tinkerers is thieves with a thing for locks and traps... so...

Rroyo: NG (or CG) Dwarf Bounty Hunter.

You likie?
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

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rroyo · Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 1:46 pm Post subject:

Works for me!
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If you can't go through a problem, go over it, under it, or around it.

Xiao_Caity · Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 2:13 pm Post subject:

New Character!

Rroyo, NG Dwarf Bounty Hunter

Some Things Are Too Hideous To Contemplate
The Government district of Athkatla. The group is approached by a dwarf wearing leather armour and carrying a pack that clinked worryingly whenever he moves.
Rroyo: Hold a moment, my friend! I hear that you seek allies to strike against the Cowled Wizards! Let me join you!
Arthgon: ...Oooo... kay... what can you do?
Rroyo: No lock has been made that I can't pick (or destroy), and I have a multitude of useful machines of my own devising that will make your journey easier!
Arthgon: I don't know, I kind of need another spellcaster...
A familiar gnome appears from nowhere.
Jan: Strange, that's just what my Aunt Petunia said! She was working on a new recipe for turnip scones, you see...
Arthgon: *cringes* Welcome aboard, Rroyo!
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

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Zanza · Vault Survivor Joined: 20 Apr 2009 Posts: 1103

Ha ha love it. Zanza is very... Interesting.
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Xiao_Caity · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 6:05 am Post subject:

I'm kind of viewing Zanza the Paladin as the whole 'everyone is as good as I am, so I trust my companions implicitly because I wouldn't be traveling with them if they weren't good' kind of Paladin. Sorry.
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

Nice Girls Don't Scream Orcish Battlecries. (Thank God I'm Not A Nice Girl.)

DarkFool · Nemesis of the Ancients Joined: 28 Jan 2005 Posts: 3140

Xiao_Caity · Posted: Sun May 10, 2009 12:31 pm Post subject:

CN Stalker maybe? We need more ranger-types. Got a favoured enemy that you'd like?
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

Nice Girls Don't Scream Orcish Battlecries. (Thank God I'm Not A Nice Girl.)

Arthgon · Posted: Sun May 10, 2009 1:43 pm Post subject:

Sometimes is getting a serious conversation very difficult
The Copper Coronet, late at night. Yuki wants to reason with Arthgon, about his bloodlust.
Yuki: "Okay...now please listen to me Arthgon."
Arthgon: *while he puts on a necklace with the ears of his slain enemies* "I am all ears."
Yuki: *Sigh* "Never mind."
_________________
Ash: [talking to mirror] I'm fine... I'm fine...
[Mirror Ash jumps out of the mirror and grabs Ash]
Mirror Ash: I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine"?

Wolfsbane · There IS a cow level Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 3727

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

My favourite class is probably Fighter (or is it called warrior? I never remember..)
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magikot · Posted: Sun May 10, 2009 6:47 pm Post subject:

Magikot - CN Human Bard. I doubt BG2 has the Fiendblooded prestige class, but if they do then that's for me

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Xiao_Caity · Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 12:03 am Post subject:

Magikot - Well, not Fiendblooded, but you could be a tiefling or summat...

Wolfsbane - N Fighter work for you?
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

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magikot · Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 4:39 am Post subject:

Tiefling or half-fiend I guess could work. Fiend-blooded gains the half-fiend template at level 10. So, I guess either could work.
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Xiao_Caity · Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 7:15 am Post subject:

I'll take tiefling if you don't mind.

Arthgon: Mwahahaha!

*ahem*

New Characters:

Dark Fool: CN Human Stalker

Wolfsbane: N Human Fighter

Magikot - CN Tiefling Bard.

Oh God, Now There's Two Of Them
Arthgon leads the group through the graveyard district. Magikot, a tiefling bard, is engaged in rather enthusiastic conversation with Xiao.
Magikot: Ah, now that is an interesting trick, but may I suggest a particular favourite of mine?
Xiao: Oh, yes please!
Magikot: I always keep a couple of Flesh to Stone scrolls in my pack. That way, if the minions of the Sparklepires come upon us when I am low on magic, I can turn them into statues and save them for when I have returned to full strength. Alternatively, they do make useful coatracks.
Xiao: *sparkly eyes* That's such a wonderful idea! You're so clever!
Arthgon: Stop encouraging her. She's hard enough to control as it is. If you keep talking like that she'll see Sparklepires every-bloody-where!
Xiao: SPARKLEPIRES! Aiiii! *incinerates some poor hapless mourner*
Magikot: *smirk* Excellently done, my dear Xiao! A most impressive execution!
Arthgon: Hate you so very, very much.

Knife Goes In, Stabby Stabby...
The Copper Coronet again. Two new members of the rag-tag pack of maniacs, Dark Fool and Wolfsbane, sit near the fire, tending to their weapons. Dark Fool is singing as he runs a whetstone down the edge of his scimitar.
Dark Fool: Knife goes in, stabby stabby...
Wolfsbane: *joins in* Knife comes out, stabby stabby...
Dark Fool: Guts come out! On the slabby slabby...
Wolfsbane: Just like my dear old dad!
Yuki and Arthgon come in just as the two warriors start singing their morbid tune as a round.
Arthgon: Why can't I meet anyone sane on this trip?
Yuki: I love how they don't mention if their fathers taught them to use a knife, or if they carved their fathers up in some demented coming of age ritual.
Arthgon: You are so hot when you're evil.
Yuki: Insect Plague. Armour.
Arthgon: Meeeeeeeeeep.
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

Nice Girls Don't Scream Orcish Battlecries. (Thank God I'm Not A Nice Girl.)

Arthgon · Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 3:36 pm Post subject:

Xiao_Caity · Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 11:20 pm Post subject:

There weren't any animal companions in BG2, Minsc and Boo being a bizarre exception.

You need to be a mage to get a familiar.
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

Nice Girls Don't Scream Orcish Battlecries. (Thank God I'm Not A Nice Girl.)

magikot · Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 5:29 am Post subject:

Boo = epic win
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Xiao_Caity · Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 6:54 am Post subject:

Go for the eyes, Boo, go for the EYE! *berserker shriek*

Minsc is awesome.
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

Nice Girls Don't Scream Orcish Battlecries. (Thank God I'm Not A Nice Girl.)

Arthgon · Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 2:00 pm Post subject:

Yuki · Death Claw Joined: 28 Feb 2009 Posts: 763

Why am I paired with Arthgon? I don't even know the guy.
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Xiao_Caity · Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 11:08 pm Post subject:

You're the Jahiera to his Bhaalspawn, only unlike Jahiera you're not open to romancing. As your constant threats towards him when he hits on you prove. (Besides, you can't deny, Insect Plague in the armour would be a pretty effective deterrent.)

*blinks at Arthgon* Somehow you've managed to capture Evoker!Xiao and ratchet up the insane just a smidgen. No way she'd give it up for her robe though, considering that it's leather freakin' armour and she's a mage!
_________________
"Writer's block: it affects the best of us, and doesn't affect the worst of us enough."
~ Kitty, ImpishIdea

Currently surviving on caffiene, microwave dinners and requests for porn from certain fandoms. Guess the fandoms, win some porn!

Nice Girls Don't Scream Orcish Battlecries. (Thank God I'm Not A Nice Girl.)