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I've been reading a lot of stuff on creepypasta. It's not really doing it for me. Some are ok, some are pretty bad. Plus, the site's been inactive for a while now. The problem with a lot of the stories is the suspension of disbelief, and even while some stories really aren't badly written, my ability to believe what's happening and submerge myself into the story is inevitably hampered by something stupid, like bad grammar or the oh-so-popular "Ohmygod guys I'm totally fucking scared right now!" or "This totally means (blank) is haunted!" I was thinking that, despite whether or not I know any of you have sat down and written a good scary story, I honestly figure I'd be more likely to "believe" something one of you wrote, given most of the forum's talent for english and my general impression that there's an average intelligence here higher than that of most of the internet, a thread where we share original short works might be fun! Or, no one will really want to post. Either way, here's the idea; we each compose a short story, between 3 and 9 paragraphs (don't put too many long ones in there, I know how they're often received), per each of our posts, and ideally fleshed out and edited before submission. I'm not asking for perfection, just that you honestly gave it a shot and feel satisfied your work will have an effect. There's no limit to subject matter, all that really matters is if it's scary/creepy/unnerving in some way. I feel drawing from other works is good for inspiration, but I would hope noone here directly plagiarizes a story. I mean, if it's something like an addition to the Slender Man mythos, go for it. Done well, it's pretty awesome. Done poorly, it's like most of what I've read. Just don't go taking credit for Slender Man unless you're the guy from SomethingAwful who photoshopped the first pic and created the first of the mythos. You know, simple stuff like that.
As a final note, I'm hoping there are no Shyamalan-level twists...I'm sure you know what I mean, like "Protagonist was dead the whole time! And so smug you'd call him a hipster if it wouldn't give hipsters a bad name!"
Enjoy the thread!
Most people could consider a morgue to be a strange place to build their future. However, most people aren't studying to be doctors. Even fewer people who try to become doctors make the cut. It's this process of elimination we rely upon to to determine who gets to take care of us when we're sick, to maintain us when we're well. Jacob was one of the few who made it through med school; he was respected by his peers, and it was generally accepted by his superiors that he had a bright future ahead of him.
Some years after becoming a doctor, he decided to leave the hospital where he interned. He thought that starting an urgent care center was ideal, mainly because he felt he had to extend the reach of medicine to people who had problems more severe than an appointment to their family doctor would allow, but not severe enough to warrant a trip to the hospital. He researched a location he felt would be ideal, and got in contact with medical professionals all over the state with his idea. Being the charismatic sort, and actually having an idea of how such an operation would work, it wasn't hard for him to assemble a competent staff.
He rented out a vacant building to suit his purposes, as it was more convenient and less expensive than hiring an architect and construction team at the time. Putting ads online and in the local paper was an immediate success. People were relieved to get the care they needed on a basis both convenient to them and in a more relaxing atmosphere than the stiff clinical environment of the hospital. Though, he and his colleagues began to see strange coincidences in their patients, unknown to each other for a time.
It started in the elderly. Some weeks after having started the clinic, dozens of patients over 65 began coming to the clinic with a small blistering rash, and cursory signs of dementia. Upon examination, it was shown that they all had what appeared to be a spider bite somewhere on their bodies. When asked about the bite, most couldn't remember when it appeared, but admitted it was tender to the touch. Blood work was ordered on all of the patients. The five doctors at the clinic each saw between three and four of this type of patient a day, and while not entirely sure of the cause at first, upon discussion of the commonality of the symptoms, it was believed to be a reaction to an as yet unknown toxin of arachnid origin. When the lab tests returned, the cause was confirmed, though the properties of the toxin were still undetermined.
The three weeks following the influx of the elderly, scared children with visibly rattled parents began appearing, though not in such quantity as the sexagenarian crowd of nearly a month ago. The children all immediately identified the rash on their bodies, and also showed passing difficulty in language or cognition. Their bites, all on the extremities, were harder to identify, but strongly resembled the bite pattern of a human jaw. The parents had similar (but more frequent) bites on their bodies, and recounted vividly the events leading up to their arrival at the clinic, but showed no symptoms of the toxin on their skin or in their minds. The parents told a story of either bringing their children to a relative's house and rapidly deciding to leave or having to wrestle them from an elderly neighbor's grasp, often receiving aggressive bites in response, followed by a look of horror on the attacker's face and profuse, sobbing apologies.
The elderly were told the cause of their condition, that it was not contagious, and that the toxin responsible was being analyzed to develop a proper antidote to the effects. They were given anti-inflammatory medications and were told to keep in contact with their doctors should they feel worse in any way. Two weeks passed. The rashes remained stable, as did the dementia, for a time. During the previous week, a total of 45 children and 30 adults were bitten, followed by each of the attackers to admitting themselves to the hospital. The hospital confirmed the parent's story, however, shortly after their admission, all of the patients died.
The implications of this were incredible. Not only was an unidentified spider responsible for the initial onset of symptoms, the toxin mutated as it entered their bodies and was produced by their own metabolism, but only affects the young and the old...those with the weakest immune systems.
Many of the elderly were not living at home at the time of their affliction. There was a respectable senior community in the area, and it housed at least 400 residents. There was a permanent medical staff that lived with the patients in the community, and the staff was outnumbered by the residents five to one. A call was made to the medical office of the community. The receptionist who answered the call seemed frantic, overworked. Apparently, some new disease was spreading among the residents that caused rashes, confusion, and made them unnaturally aggressive. At least eighty residents had died. Some of the staff had been bitten. A few began to show signs of infection, but were still lucid for the time being.
At that moment, Jacob decided to turn the TV in the waiting room to the local news. The broadcast began by describing an undefined ailment that was depressingly similar to the one Jacob and his staff had addressed just three weeks prior, and had been accurately described by the senior community staff. Apparently, since last week, reports have been "pouring in" regarding attacks on people of all ages, and while It noted that children and the elderly were definitely the most susceptible to the disease, it was shown at least 40% of all non-geriatric adults bitten were susceptible to it. The bulletin added that the first to suffer from the illness were, as confirmed by the local hospital, bitten by an as of yet unidentified species of arachnid.
Jacob called the hospital. He thought that if he was able to ascertain the cause of death, he may be able to allay the symptoms to a degree while a cure is found. He was faxed the coroner's report regarding each patient who had been under his care. According to the reports, each had died of massive organ failure. The time of death was what surprised him; two days before the admission.
The next day, the news was the only thing on Jacob's tv. At nine, an emergency broadcast had been issued. Packs of feral children were seen in the streets, accompanied by some adults and the elderly. Reports of cannibalism run rampant; the police have been called to dozens of homes, implored by hysterical parents to save them from their children. It was no longer safe to go outside. It wasn't even safe to stay inside. If you saw anyone with a rash, you were to report them to the police immediately and do whatever was possible to avoid contact with them. It was stated the national guard had been called to assist the local police in containing the situation, but there was no word yet as to thier cooperation.
Jacob was stunned. It was mutating at an exponential rate. He remembered the coroner's reports, and began thinking horribly morbid thoughts. How many were going to die? How many were already dead? How were his patients' bodies functioning days after their hearts had stopped? He was horrified; what if it was a trap? The ones who "died" may have cooperated long enough to get into a place where the chance of infection was greatest. That hospital served the entire county. If everyone inside were to be infected...
The news came on with an update; helicopters were hovering over the city, reporting that the infected seemed to be falling dormant in the streets. One by one they went down, mouths agape. The threat was over. The anchor was relieved, commenting on the speed and lethality of the infection. She cracked a weak smile, but her expression fell dead. Without a word, the video feed went back to the helicopter. The infected were moving, somehow. Not human movements, more like the stretching of bags about to burst. They each erupted into thousands of spiders, flooding the streets and inundating the homes through chimneys and the spaces between the doors and their frames. She attempted to report on the events, trying to remain the stoic journalist for her audience. But, as no conscious thought regarding such a horrifying spectacle could be uttered by her or the person behind the teleprompter, the video feed progressed in eery silence until the muffled screams of people trapped inside their homes became apparent.
Everyone was going to die. The spiders hadn't reached the urgent care clinic yet, but undoubtedly choked the inside of the hospital. Jacob and his colleagues stayed inside, mute, as the undefinable horror progressed before them. They heard a dull roar over the engine of the helicopter through the video feed. The camera panned up to the sky, searching for the source of the thunder. There was a spear of fire in the sky. Everyone still capable of watching the news felt a simultaneous relief as the camera zoomed in on the object. The surrounding counties had been evacuated, and the civilians ordered to get into the nearest fallout shelter. The only available option was to sterilize the area. They all knew there was no other choice. Everyone went outside at once, oblivious to the danger the spiders represented, and accepted their fate with quiet dignity; Jacob especially, because now he could literally see the bright future ahead of him.
_________________ Smuel wrote: I expect it's something to do with cheap rolex watches enlarging his penis while he makes $400,000 an hour working from home.
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Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:25 am Post subject: Scary Stories
