What are your most unimpressive achievements?

Crypton · **Posted:** Wed Jan 04, 2012 10:11 am **Post subject:**

Quote:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Drog Alt · **Joined:** Jun 30, 2010 **Posts:** 544

Grossenschwamm wrote:

Drog wrote:

Met a 18 year old girl recently. A virgin, insisted on not losing her virginity, though everything else was fine. Was really bad at giving head, so I ended up fucking her in the mouth.

Your unimpressive achievement is essentially that you can't tell a girl how you like your knob polished? That's very unimpressive, and also qualifies as an achievement.

We tried several times, she's a like a vacuum cleaner, it mostly just hurts. 鸡巴都红了

It's the first time I really fucked someone in the mouth, as in with a force. It was so humiliating for her, yet she didn't say a thing. Very submissive.

Grossenschwamm · **Posted:** Wed Jan 04, 2012 7:12 pm **Post subject:**

Well yeah, that's a tad demeaning. This is still on you, however. Did you try telling her to suck less? There's no indication you actually told her anything from your latest post, which may qualify as another unimpressive achievement.

Drog Alt · **Joined:** Jun 30, 2010 **Posts:** 544

Do you want to hear more of my degenerate stories? Last month I took a whole pill of viagra (a knock off one, though, it's nowhere as strong) and called a call girl. I should mention that my "joystick" is rather big, probably twice larger than what the locals have. I was fucking that call girl for about half an hour, maybe more, doggy style, without any restraint. The poor girl bled.

Smuel · **Joined:** Feb 22, 2011 **Posts:** 1047

If we're just going to make stuff up, then I've had a threesome with Michael and Janet Jackson.

Drog Alt · **Joined:** Jun 30, 2010 **Posts:** 544

I actually feel bad about that episode, somewhat. She refused to continue and I scared her into giving me most of the money back. Doesn't change the fact that she was some country bumpkin with a bad attitude, though. If the service is good and the girl is really friendly, I'd never think about intentionally hurting her.

I like taking a little bit of viagra (the Chinese knock off, gold in color) now and then. It numbs your sensitivity, so you can keep going much longer. It's a bit hard to reach an orgasm if you take too much, though.

Grossenschwamm · **Posted:** Wed Jan 04, 2012 9:18 pm **Post subject:**

This makes you out to be some sort of sexual predator if it's true.

Quote:

I actually feel bad about that episode, somewhat. She refused to continue and I scared her into giving me most of the money back. Doesn't change the fact that she was some country bumpkin with a bad attitude, though. If the service is good and the girl is really friendly, I'd never think about intentionally hurting her.

You rationalized violent behavior because of someone else's attitude. It's her damn job to have sex with you, and your dick's too damn big. Of course she'll stop if she's bleeding. You do realize women's vaginas are a part of their bodies, don't you? And a female prostitute's vagina tends to be a portion of how they earn money? If you break her vagina, she might not be able to do a third of her job.
Let's face it;
You're bad at sex and communication.
Learn how to do both and you'll end up fucking less faces and intimidating fewer prostitutes after destroying their vaginas.

Zanza · **Joined:** Apr 20, 2009 **Posts:** 2769

Drog Alt wrote:

called a call girl.

Enough said really.

Drog Alt · **Joined:** Jun 30, 2010 **Posts:** 544

Had sex with a really petite girl last night. She was gripping me and moaning the whole time, really enjoying the ride. She was very tight, 太爽了. I was cautious and I don't think I ever put it all the way in.

It's funny, when I ask them what kind of dicks the locals have, they show half the size of mine. Geez! Yeah, basically the girth is not a big problem, but the length is. Their cunts are nowhere as deep. Even the sluttiest girls (with somewhat loose cunts) will feel pain if I start hammering it all the way in (especially when doggy style).

Zanza · **Joined:** Apr 20, 2009 **Posts:** 2769

I don't understand who it is you are trying to impress here with your lies.

Smuel · **Joined:** Feb 22, 2011 **Posts:** 1047

Aww, poor Zanza is jealous because he can't write in Chinese.

Grossenschwamm · **Posted:** Mon Jan 09, 2012 6:29 pm **Post subject:**

Drog Alt wrote:

Had sex with a really petite girl last night. She was gripping me and moaning the whole time, really enjoying the ride. She was very tight, 太爽了. I was cautious and I don't think I ever put it all the way in.

It's funny, when I ask them what kind of dicks the locals have, they show half the size of mine. Geez! Yeah, basically the girth is not a big problem, but the length is. Their cunts are nowhere as deep. Even the sluttiest girls (with somewhat loose cunts) will feel pain if I start hammering it all the way in (especially when doggy style).

Most women don't enjoy being rammed in the cervix. That's something you have to look for, i.e. "my penis is so large I am nearly guaranteed to ram your cervix. If in to that, call 888-DIK-LIES."
Seriously, the locals you're being compared to average about 10 centimeters. If you're twice their size, you're smaller than me.

Constipation · **Posted:** Mon Jan 09, 2012 6:44 pm **Post subject:**

My dick is three feet long. It is true because I said it on an internet forum.

Grossenschwamm · **Posted:** Mon Jan 09, 2012 7:41 pm **Post subject:**

Constipation wrote:

My dick is three feet long. It is true because I said it on an internet forum.

QFT

TheDavisChanger · **Posted:** Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:59 pm **Post subject:**

This thread has really exposed sides of my fellow Lords that I never anticipated. I'm glad Crypton feels comfortable enough to share his suicide attempts with (although I credit Grossenschwamm for laying much of the foundation for that).

I
guess
I'm
glad
that
Drog feels comfortable enough to share his forays into casual rape. I especially enjoy the bit where he bullies the prostitute into getting any amount of his money back. It reminds me of a story my friend once told me. Are "a friend's" achievements appropriate fodder for this thread?

Grossenschwamm · **Posted:** Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:08 pm **Post subject:**

TheDavisChanger wrote:

This thread has really exposed sides of my fellow Lords that I never anticipated. I'm glad Crypton feels comfortable enough to share his suicide attempts with (although I credit Grossenschwamm for laying much of the foundation for that).

I
guess
I'm
glad
that
Drog feels comfortable enough to share his forays into casual rape. I especially enjoy the bit where he bullies the prostitute into getting any amount of his money back. It reminds me of a story my friend once told me. Are "a friend's" achievements appropriate fodder for this thread?

I actually figured Crypton was trying to bait me, given the eye roll emote.

Crypton · **Posted:** Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:52 pm **Post subject:**

Quote:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Zanza · **Joined:** Apr 20, 2009 **Posts:** 2769

I don't like your signature, it oozes butthurt.

Crypton · **Posted:** Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:32 am **Post subject:**

Zanza · **Joined:** Apr 20, 2009 **Posts:** 2769

Remember when your avatar was similar? Not much has changed really, just slap on some emo make up.

Smuel · **Joined:** Feb 22, 2011 **Posts:** 1047

TheDavisChanger wrote:

Are "a friend's" achievements appropriate fodder for this thread?

As creator of this thread, I hereby declare "Yes". I'd also just like to remind you that there's nothing shameful about exploring your gay tendencies.

Grossenschwamm · **Posted:** Tue Jan 10, 2012 4:18 pm **Post subject:**

Smuel, you opened up gay tendencies for discussion, and since it's your thread, you should probably break the ice so everybody feels comfortable.

Smuel · **Joined:** Feb 22, 2011 **Posts:** 1047

Okay, well, one time I was about to have sex with a Chinese transsexual, but when she saw my enormous white cock she refused to do anal. 我不会说中文

Grossenschwamm · **Posted:** Tue Jan 10, 2012 5:42 pm **Post subject:**

I...was once the big spoon. Clothed, seperate sleeping bags.
Didn't find out about it until morning.
也沒有任何人，但黑齒。

Muro · **Posted:** Tue Jan 10, 2012 5:55 pm **Post subject:**

我只是他媽的愛谷歌翻譯。

What are your most unimpressive achievements?

Who is online